Positive Vibes
2017 has brought a lot of changes and new experiences into my life. In the midst of the changes, I decided I would dedicate myself to have a more positive, healthy mindset and I think I have been doing a great job at becoming a ray of sunshine in such a dark world. Here’s what I have learned:
1.Perspective.
Sometimes life can be really shitty, and that’s okay. What matters is how you look at each situation and hardships, this is where the whole perspective thing comes in. Every thought you have, is a choice. We have a choice to be negative or to be positive. It’s much easier to be negative which is why our brains are trained to think such a way the majority of the time. It’s much, much harder to think of a positive in a negative situation. It’s a hell of a lot easier to dwell on every negative thing going on in our lives. We can CHOOSE to have a positive perspective. It’s not easy at first, but it can happen. Here’s a quick example: On my way to school the other day I chose to drive instead of taking Bart. I left my house at 6AM in the hopes of making my 8M class. The traffic was horrific and it took me three hours to get to San Francisco. Instead of getting all worked up over the long drive, I thought about the positives that came from the negative situation (DING DING DING THIS IS THE KEY). Sure, it will take me a lot longer to get to school but that means I have three hours of time to myself. Three hours to blast my music and sing every song on the first Jonas Brothers album. You get the idea. Perspective. It’s important.
2. Lessons to be learned.
Instead of seeing the negative experiences as just negatives change your perspective. What can you learn from this negative situation? How can you use it to improve yourself? How will this make you a better person? What can you do differently next time to avoid said negative experience? When you look at it from this angle, seeing all the positives that could come out of the negative experience, it makes it a lot easier to deal with. This expands on the whole perspective idea but you get the point.
3. Control.
This is probably one of the most important lessons I have learned. I cannot control everything and everyone around me, and that’s okay. The only thing I can control, is myself. I can control how I react to every situation. I can control how I look at every situation and how I think about them. This was super important to me during my journey to a more positive life because when you feel in control of yourself, you stop becoming a victim to life and what it throws at you. This ties into the whole perspective thing but, control is another important aspect in becoming a more positive individual.
4. Surround yourself with positive people
This one speaks for itself. The people who you surround yourself with says a lot about yourself. You’re more likely to be positive if you surround yourself with others who are also positive. Another perk to this is when you’re feeling down on yourself, they can give you an outsiders POSITIVE perspective that could be useful to you in times of need.
5. It’s okay to not be positive 100% of the time.
Another important aspect I learned is this one. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes. I found myself beating myself up whenever I had a negative thought cross my mind. It’s okay to not be positive 100% of the time, it’s human. It’s okay to allow yourself to have those negative thoughts as long as they are minimal and do not outweigh your positive thoughts. When I find myself thinking negatively I will allow myself to write down every negative thought I have for a couple minutes. I then go back and replace the negative thoughts with positive ones. You’ll find that the positive thoughts are much more realistic than the negative ones.
Here’s an example:
I am a failure ----> I am a work in progress with so much room to grow.
I am lost -----> I am on a path to find myself
I can't do it. -----> ..YET! I will find a way to make it work and I will keep trying
You get the idea. Refute each negative thought with a positive one.
6. Self-Compassion
This one is a biggie and one that I personally struggled with for a very long time. We are human, we are bound to make mistakes. In other words, shit happens. When shit does happen, don’t beat yourself up over it. Love yourself. Be conscious and aware of your mistakes but don’t continue to beat yourself up over them. IT IS OKAY TO FAIL. IT IS OKAY TO MAKE MISTAKES. This is how we learn! This is how we grow! So be nice to yourself. Think about the advice you would give to a close friend who is going through a similar situation. Would you be as hard on them as you are yourself? Probably not. Be your own good friend. Don’t beat yourself up, it’s not worth it.
As you can see all of these tie into perspective, which is why I listed it first. Be kind to yourself and to others. Practice positive thinking. You can do it! Be a light in this dark world, we need more of those. Sending positive vibes as always :)
Love always,
Tay
