My Fairytale (or some shit like that)
For My Zachary
Let’s flashback to the summer between junior and senior year of high school for a minute, where this story first begins. My best friend and I were really good about going to the gym every single day (yes, every day, you read that right.) I noticed that there was this Taylor Launter look-alike who also had a strict gym schedule. I found myself scheduling my gym time around the time that he would be lifting just so I could catch a quick peek at him hitting biceps. (total stalker, I know). He also worked there, so it was even more motivation to get me into the gym. I also knew that we had mutual friends and after finding out that he was already in a committed relationship, I stuck to just quick glances at the gym. I followed him on social media and that’s as far as it went for the remainder of high school and years after.
How Zach and I started talking is actually quite funny (and perfect). I had JUST gotten out of a bad marriage and had no intention of starting a relationship. Zach had posted on SnapChat that he was on his way to Disneyland for the weekend (my favorite place on this earth as many of you know already). So, I decided to message him these exact words: “Hey! You’re going to my second home! Super jealous. Eat a churro for me!”. Being my high school crush, it took me almost all day to actually press send. I was going back and forth whether to send it or not, I didn’t want him to think I was weird. Much to my surprise, he quickly responded. The conversation never stopped. I kept waiting for him to “leave me on read”, but it never happened. We went from discussing our favorite Disney rides to deeper, more meaningful questions like, “what do you want out of this life and why?” in a matter of a few weeks. I remember Zach apologizing every time it took him hours to respond to my text. Something about him was different, a refreshing different. We talked every single day, all day. We became really good friends, and it was hard not to develop feelings.
A little over a month of texting, we finally agreed to hangout in person. Zach came to my house and we just hung out and watched Disney movies. No one in my family knew I was talking to someone else so I had to sneak him into my house, it was fun. It was very low key and perfect for my introverted personality. The movies filled my silence as I am super shy when you first meet me. We talked about random things like dark chocolate and the fact that I had never seen any Avengers movies. We laughed about the same things. We hit it off. And much to my surprise he wanted to hangout again just a few days later, an official date. He took me to sushi. I was very awkward and pretty much sat across from the table and stared at him and said very few words. He kept reminding me of how beautiful I looked and how happy he was that I agreed to have dinner with him. After that, we continued to meet up once a week and talked on the phone for hours every night before bed. Pretty soon, he couldn’t get me to stop talking at dinner. We have been inseparable ever since the first time we watched movies at my house.
I thought it was way too fast for me to want to date someone else so quickly after what had happened with my ex. I mean, my divorce wasn’t even close to being finalized at this point. I also thought I had way too much baggage for Zach to deal with. My ex was still trying to manipulate me to work things out with him. He was randomly showing up at my house or work unannounced, it was too much for me to deal with let alone someone else from the outside. I was very much upfront to Zach about everything. I was very honest and kept nothing in the dark so he would never be surprised about what was going on. Surprisingly, Zach decided to stick around, which made me like him even more.
I knew Zach was going to change my life in some way, I just never knew how much. I knew I was falling for him, really hard and really quickly. I would be lying if I said that I was completely ready for Zachary to come into my life. God knew more than I did and he knew I needed someone to love and support me unconditionally the way Zach does. At first, I told myself I didn’t deserve him. I felt like I was bringing too much unnecessary shit into his world and I felt guilty for doing that. Zach was so sweet throughout the whole process. He kept reminding me that my situation was unfortunate, but it was temporary. He reminded me that I was NOT my situation. He lifted me up on the days when I really needed it. He got me out of bed and he pushed me to keep going. He was my light throughout it all.
The beginning was rough. Zach witnessed me go through severe depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, a crazy ex, quitting my job, filling out divorce papers, etc. Sometimes he would come home from work to me crying on the bathroom floor because everything felt so unbearable. Sometimes he would even cry with me. I realize how hard this must have been on him and I am so grateful he didn’t ever give up on me. I’m thankful for these rough times because Zach and I are extremely close because of it all. He is literally my best friend and I trust him with anything and everything. We have this unexplainable, unbreakable bond. It’s hard to explain just how close we are because I can’t really put it into words. I know that we can overcome anything that comes our way because we have weathered much bigger storms before. And I know, we still have much life left to live but I am more than confident that we will face each challenge together.
Our relationship has always remained indestructible. We have seen some really dark days together but I can honestly say there has been twice as many, if not more, brighter days. There have been more tears of happiness or laughter than there have been of sadness. Without a doubt, Zachary is the love of my life. I have never met someone so selfless, caring, tender, loving, compassionate, devoted and loyal as him. God delivered this man to me and I thank him every single day for it. He is truly something special and I am so honored that he trusted me with his heart. He pushes me every single day to be the best person I can be. When we first met, I handed him the pieces of my broken heart and he put me back together so tenderly and effortlessly. This is all so cheesy and mushy but it’s true!
Zach, if you’re reading this I just want to say thank you. Thank you for putting me back together. Thank you for sticking around on my darkest of days and thank you for loving me the way you do each and every day. Thank you for pushing me to get help when I needed it. Thank you for your understanding and tenderness throughout this entire journey. Thank you for allowing me to grow as a person and find myself again. Most importantly, thank you for being so patient when I needed it. Without you, I don’t know where I would be. I know that it was rough in the beginning and it must have been so incredibly difficult for you to have to see me at my worst but look at where we are now! I’m so grateful to be with someone like you and I have an insane amount of love and respect for you. I can never repay you for what you have done for me but I hope I can thank you by telling you how much I love you every day! You’re amazing, don’t ever forget that. You have lit up my world in so many ways, thank you for that. I wish I could put into words how much I love you. Who would’ve known that I would end up with the super buff dude that I would stare at? Funny how things just seem to work out sometimes. I am so excited to see what God has in store for us and where life takes us. Thank you for being you!
So, to wrap up this incredibly long story, that’s my ‘fairytale’. It hasn’t always been sunshine and roses but I wouldn’t change a second of it. Everything happens for a reason and it might be when you least expect it. Flowers really do grow from shit and I am reminded of that every single day. Thank you for reading.
All my Love,
Tay
